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March 21st, 2006
11:24 pm
fuck.
I keep sitting down to update here, and I'll type a few lines and hit delete. It's all too personal, all too historical, all too fucking self righteous boring crap. It would irritate me to write it, and it would irritate me even more that people actually read it. What does anyone even get out of the whole public personal journal? Is it a voyeuristic thing?
I don't go outside much anymore. It's too fucking crowded everywhere. It's disgusting. This city is an empire built on broken dreams, high end retail on the ground floor of tenements, everyone scatters around trying to impress everyone else.
Here's a little bit more for the voyeurs.
I'm filled with disgust. It's not even hate. It's contempt. It's this vile infestation of people, too many of them in too small an area, all of their putrid smells and sounds, the vile eyes wandering over your body filled with lust or rage or just nothing at all, horrid beasts trying to figure out if they want to fuck you or if they want to know where you got your shoes. It leaves a grimy film on your skin.
I looked at old photos a few nights ago, they were like images out of some stereotype movie. I miss that.
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I lived in a house.
An apartment, really.
It was on the ground floor of the building, and all the windows faced to brick walls.
One evening, I returned to my apartment that all the windows faced to brick walls, to discover something that hadn't been there before.
A mass grave.
A massacre, if you will.
There were piles of dead flies on all the windowsills. Dozens of them, shiny opalescent corpses. Like little oil slicks with legs and wings poking out at awkward angles. Some were tangled in cobwebs, little loners suspended an inch or so above the rest.
In all the time I lived in that apartment, I saw only three or four lives flies buzzing about. But there were easily over a hundred dead ones, piled up on each windowsill.
Strange.
_______________________________________
I took a step out the last few months, turned my back and left a life behind. I returned to an old one, and seem to have gotten realities mixed up.
I wonder if all Geminis lead these double and triple lives?
She may not be fit for public consumption, for private interludes, or for nocturnal emissions.
Maybe.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
5 4 3 2...
1
Fill in the blanks with something trite, something borrowed, something blue? Properly destructive, delightfully misanthropic, deadly deafening noise.
This time of year...this time last year...this time next year. I've never been one to panic on coming of age, those inevitable chronological changes. Silly really, other things to focus on rather than something you can't avoid.
She doesn't like crowded rooms, dark and stained with sweat. The latter is reserved for elsewhere, neverwhere, behind curtains and once upon a time there was a girl on a rooftop, pressed against cold torn tiles caulk under my nails as we clawed at the walls....once upon a time she screamed and ruled the world. She misses the warm liquid therapy.
high heels failing terribly at vegan meals, should I stop the clock and just dry fuck the second hand as it crawls along, over stylized pop ads litter all the reflections in the glass...blend black shadow round those lids paint those hands those hairs...those dead trees outside make real life real time into a movie set, knock it down flat dimension - - -
5 4 3 2 1
=================================================
'm going to speak some words.
One thing - I feel like updating, but don't feel like being all cryptic weirdo girl right now. So here are things I am thinking.
One thing - I hate myspace. And yet, I find myself on it constantly. It's a disgusting, vicious addiction, and the most effective free marketing promotional tool out there currently.
One thing - I got to spend time with the fabulous drunks the other day. We took silly photos, which should be floating around somewhere soon.
One thing - Sometimes an appartment seems very large, and very empty.
One thing - I am incredibly entertained by those pro-eating disorder websites.
One thing - I miss having time to read. There were a few months last year that I was going through multiple novels a week, and now I have stacks waiting for me that seem to be collecting dust.
One thing - that's about it.
---leela
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July 13th, 2005
10:12 pm - I just really need to vent this somewhere... I don't give a fuck if you don't care, don't read it...
* I hate people who come into the restaurant 5 fucking minutes before we close "to have coffee" which in reality means sit around and chat while people who have been working since noon want to go home...
* I hate stupid people who allow those dumb afore-mentioned people to sit down and have their coffee, while the rest of us have to sit and wait for them to be done, because it's "bad business." Fuck those people. They can never come back here and Lynn's would still boom with touist business...
* I hate people who lend out other's things without the owner's permission, when they knew the owners wanted their shit back.
* I hate people who call after 8 months of not calling and pretend to give a shit after you've made a real effort to get in touch.
* I hate people who don't care about others time/space/property/needs/feelings/ideas/thoughts/requests... etc...
* I hate people who take advantage of others.
* I hate people who ask a favour, only to let their cat shit all over your floor and leave their trash all over your house.
* I hate people who judge others because they're having a bad day.
I hate everyone today...
Current Mood: I'm a ray of fucking sunshine
Current Music: Stupid fucking Lynn's shit
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June 25th, 2005
08:49 pm - hahahahahaha... the first celebrity on my list and I would have SO much fun...
| Your Gemini Drinking Style |
 You can drink without changing their behavior much.
You're so naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that it's just hard to tell sometimes.
You amaze people by conversing with finesse and allusions, then doing something to belie an extremely advanced state of intoxication, like puking in your shoe.
You possess the magic ability to flirt successfully (and uninfuriatingly, which is very tricky) with several people at once.
You like to order different cocktails every round -- repetition is boring!
You may create a drinking theme (like yellow drinks: beer, sauvignon blanc and limoncello) for your own amusement. | | Your Signature Cocktails | | Easily bored Geminis need some stimulation in their drinks -- those with two parts, like a black and tan (or just a double), are particularly appealing. Otherwise, you'll drink all over the map, ordering frou-frou drinks to add to you collection of cocktail monkeys or going for whiskey rocks because you're feeling rather noir. Gemini rules the herb anise -- home-infused anise vodka is sure to win you over. | | Your Celebrity Drinking Buddies | | Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie, Kylie Minogue, the Olson Twins, Colin Farrell, Ice Cube, Natalie Portman, and Mr. T |
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May 18th, 2005
06:39 pm
So... Who wants to go to Richo's with me for my b-day? Reply so I can make reservations.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/juicy/cutealiens/sick_a.gif) sick
Current Music: Shitty Lynn's Music
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May 11th, 2005
07:23 pm
I'm at work. It's sooo... slow. But that's nice considering the derby rush was CRAZY. Things have been mellow and I like it that way. Things that are going on:
* My B-day is quickly approaching (June 9th)
* Ross and I are going to MD for the last weekend of May.
* Our friend Brad abd his Evil cat Anna May are staying with us.
* I got my dragonfly wings started... The outlines are done. I hope to get the colour and shading done soon.
* Ross got my geisha girl tattooed on the back of his calf.
* As of May 3rd Ross and I have been together for 2 years.
* I found 8 reallly old windows and I'm turning them into art.
* My mum is coming to visit from the 8th thru the 13th of June. I don't know if I'm excited or worried. She said I need to go out on my 21st with a "professional." Uh-Oh.
* My dreaddies are coming along beautifully.
* I'M GETTING A KITTEN FRIDAY. The Kids upstairs' cat,MooMoo just had 5 kittens... anyone want one? THEY ARE SOOOO... cute!!!
That's about it, If anyone wants to hang out lemme know. I have Sundays and Mondays off.
Oh and Elija... When you're in KY, call me!!!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/juicy/cutealiens/giddy_a.gif) giddy
Current Music: 80's
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February 27th, 2005
12:16 am - Leela and Hartman's List of girls SO much Hotter than the girls on Jordan's List...
1.) Milla Jovovich... (Fifth Element, Resident Evil)
2.) Franca Potente... (Run Lola Run, The Bourne Identity)
3.) Natalie Portman (Garden State, the Professional)
4.) Gwen Stephani... (No Doubt)
5.) Brittany Murphy... (Clueless, Just Married, Little Black Book)
6.) Carrie Fisher... (Star Wars, The Blues Brothers)
7.) Salma Hayek... (Dogma, From Dusk Till Dawn)
8.) Janette Lee, aka, "the Black Widow"
9.) Christina Aguilera (If she were clean)
10.) Chiaki Kuriyama... ( Kill Bill Vol. 1, Battle Royale, Hartman's Dreams)
11.) Elizabeth Hurley... (Serving Sara, Austin Powers)
12.) Monica Bellucci... (Brotherhood of the Wolf, Matrix :Reloaded)
13.) Ziyi Zhang... (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon)
14.) Allison Hannigan... (Buffy, American Pie)
15.) Halle Berry... (Swordfish, James Bond- Die Another Day)
16.) (a young) Anjelica Huston... (lots and lots)
...and many more to come...
NOT A GIRL, BUT TOO HOT TO PASS UP-
Johnny Depp
Dave Navarro
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/juicy/cutealiens/working_a.gif) productive
Current Music: Fat Dutch Kid
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January 29th, 2005
09:25 pm - RAIJU WAS HIT BY A CAR.
Well, for all of you who don't know, I have been fighting with myself about letting Raiju (my cat) outside. He has been spraying on the backdoor and all of my neighbours let thier cats outside, so I decided it might be good for him to meet other cats and make friends (my vet said it might make him stop spraying in the house). So yesterday I let him out and put food and water by the door and left for a few hours. When I came home I went to the back door and called his name. He meowed from beside the stairs, but wouldn't come out. I reached out and picked him up and he started freaking out and hissing, (which he never does) So I put him down in the kitchen and he just limped horribly into our bedroom and got onto our bed. I couldn't really see him because the lightbulb in our room was out, but Ross' friend who's staying with us changed it for me so I could see him. I noticed his nose was bleeding. I gently tried to look at his paw but he wouldn't let me. I called the vets office and we took him to the vets immediately. Turns out he was hit by a car. And dragged by it. I feel so guilty because I was the one who let him outside. He has a huge cast on his fromt right leg, (the bones were coming out of it.) And he had to have a toe amputated from his back paw because it was pretty much ripped off when he was dragged. His nails are all gone from him trying to stop himself, and his nose has road rash. He is still at the vet's until tomorrow, so if anyone wants to drop by and sign his cast, i think he would feel good with the attention. I am heartbroken, but at least he's ok... and he is NEVER going outside EVER again. Please "pray" or whatever you personally do for my cat's quick recooperation. Thanks.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/juicy/cutealiens/sad_a.gif) sad
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August 18th, 2004
09:13 pm - Hey! If you give a fuck----------------
ATTENTION!!!
I have created a new live journal for my friends who live a far, or who I haven't met in person a zillion times... No offense to anyone... i just want to use my journal for what it's meant, a journal... Not that I'm not going to write in my new one... I'm going to fill this one with just about the same crap as I do my old, so no one's missing out, I just can't keep track of it all on one journal... My new name is LaviniaIsDead. I have added everyone on the moon to this, so please add me back...
xoxox,
Lavinia
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July 8th, 2004
10:45 pm
greatest song ever!!!!- http://www.ryantown.com/gayboyfriend/gb_medium.html
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/juicy/cutealiens/energetic_a.gif) bouncy
Current Music: gay bf
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June 24th, 2004
10:34 pm - fuck...
I'm really getting sick of this shit... I didn't get the job at heinie bros. because no one else paid the phone bill and I didn't know... So they couldn't contact me... fuckity fuck fuck... I am so frustrated... MJ hasn't requested another set... Another girl's fourth (4!!!) is going up... I was a jane before her!!! Not as much as a god damn request for a set... :::cries::: I can't pay my bills... I am a mess... on top of that... No one ever wants to hang out... no one EVER fucking calls... I have a cell phone people... fuck... Aaron is the only one who asks to hang out... other than that... I call other people and they say... "oh everyone's just hanging out..." not, lemme see if you can come, or do you want to hang out later? NOTHING. Fuck this place... I kinda wanna leave... I had friends... what happened? Did everyone fucking die and I wasn't called about the funeral... What the fuck.??? Whatever...
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June 18th, 2004
03:14 pm
I got a kitten!!! It is the cutest kitten in the whole wide world...
(pics coming soon...) He is tiny and adorable and soft and black and
white. I named him Raiju, after the Japanese demon of lightning, who
took form as a cat. I am shooting a set tomorrow with Raiju. So pics to
come of that too. :)
Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: kitten purrrrrrrs
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June 12th, 2004
12:58 pm - the curse has been broken!!!
Yeah, so my birthday rocked, I am very happy about that. I went to see
Harry Potter the weekend before my b-day, it rocked!!! I went with
shalan, Jordan (thank you) and ross. SOOOOO... much fun. Then we went
to steak and shake. :) Sunday, Megan brought me this Kick ass
tinkerbell shirt!!! (thanks Megan!!!)
Then on tuesday, the day before, I got this dress...
http://www.dangerdame.com/cgi-bin/dbs//photos.cgi?db=photos&uid=default&ID=*&view_records=1&borderAround=MissFifties&nh=2&mh=1&WhichPhoto=2
I love it sooo... much!!! (Thanks dad!!!) my actual B-day, I went to
Megan's dad's for dinner, it was nice of him. Then Me megan, ross,
jordan and I went to see Harry POtter Again!!! :):):)
Ross and I got matching tattoos. We got celtic ravens. Ross got his on
the left side of his chest. I got mine in the center. SWEET!!! I love
it! well, thanks everyone for making it the greatest!!!
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June 1st, 2004
09:58 pm - taken from Sickselfesteem's LJ
I HAVE NEVER:
(_) BEEN DRUNK
(_) SMOKED POT
(_) KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
(_) KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(X) CRASHED A FRIEND'S CAR
(_) RODE IN A TAXI
(_) BEEN IN LOVE
(_) HAD SEX
(_) HAD SEX IN PUBLIC
(_) BEEN DUMPED
(_) SHOPLIFTED
(_) BEEN FIRED
(_) BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT
(_) HAD A THREESOME
(_) SNEAKED OUT OF MY PARENT'S HOUSE
(_) BEEN TIED UP (SEXUALLY)
(X) BEEN CAUGHT MASTURBATING
(X) PISSED ON MYSELF [peeing your pants is cool.]
(_) HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(_) BEEN ARRESTED
(_) MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER
(_) STOLE SOMETHING FROM MY JOB
(X) CELEBRATED NEW YEARS IN TIME SQUARE
(_) GONE ON A BLIND DATE
(_) HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER
(_) CELEBRATED MARDI-GRAS IN NEW ORLEANS
(_) BEEN TO EUROPE
(_) SKIPPED SCHOOL
(_) SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER
(_) CUT MYSELF ON PURPOSE
(X) HAD SEX AT THE OFFICE
(X) BEEN MARRIED
(X) BEEN DIVORCED
(_) HAD SEX WITH MORE THAN ONE PERSON WITHIN THE SAME WEEK
(_) POSED NUDE
(X) GOT SOMEONE DRUNK JUST TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM
(X) HAD SEX WITH MY BOSS
(_) DATED MY ROOMMATE
(x) BEEN FISTED AND/OR HAVE NEVER FISTED ANYONE
(x) THROWN UP IN A BAR
(_) SLEPT WITH AN EX
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09:39 pm
So yeah, Harry Potter is coming out this friday. WOOOT! I know I am a HUGE dork, but I have been really looking forward to this. Also... My birthday is next wednesday... Ross is gonna be at work from 2 PM till MIDNIGHT. :::blah::: :::cries::: I dunno... I have just been feeling sick and frustrated... I have gone into sweet surrender to talk to the owner about my job at least 12 times and it always one thing or another that she's busy or not there or whatever!!! :::fizzle::: My mind is racing with ideas and I feel anxious for some reason... Well... my mind is moving too quickly for me to keep up... If any of you are on My space, I'm Lavinia... Add me if you want...
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May 26th, 2004
03:56 pm
| L | Little | | A | Astonishing | | V | Valiant | | I | Industrious | | N | Nutty | | I | Ideal | | A | Amazing |
Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
GUYS PLEASE DON'T GET ME A CAT!!! i JUST CAN'T AFFORD THE SHOTS, FOOD, NEUTERING, KITTY LITTER, ETC. RIGHT NOW. I APPRECIATE THE THOUGHT, BUT I AM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE. THANK YOU FOR THE THOUGHT THOUGH.
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May 20th, 2004
06:10 pm - So I went to the ER and got fucked up more...
Thank you megan for holding my hand
( my painful story )
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May 14th, 2004
11:59 am - If you were a pornstar... what would your name be?
I went to this website where you enter your name and it generates a porn star name for you... So here's all my friends' names...
Leela- Daisy Diver
Ross- Chaz Rage
Megan- Misty Breeze
Jordan- Adam Savage
Aaron- Tannen Ray
Hartman- Devin Holder
Duram- Wex Roma
Jake- Kid Shaft
Liz- Krysti Storm
Wayne- Grant Stallion
Camille- Nikki Ryder
Lauren- Raquel Diamond
David- Brock Rock
Brad- Dirk Lofton
Phil- Nick Reems
Niel- Blake Holder
Shalan- April Sweets
Timmy- Harry Holder
Holsman- Gaylord Rage
The site's URL is http://www.mypornname.com/
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May 12th, 2004
07:15 pm
(taken from Pinkpinup's LJ- it's such a cool idea!!!)
Ask me three questions, absolutely any three questions. No anonymous posts, just honest curiousity. And then I'll offer honest answers.
Actually, I'll allow anon posts but if this is abused I'll turn it off.
IN OTHER NEWS...
Have any of you read this?- http://www.ocweekly.com/ink/04/35/moxley-exclusive.php
Sick, sick sick... you can call the defense's lawyer's office @ Cavallo Joseph G Attorney
17897 Macarthur Boulevard, Irvine, CA 92614
(949) 477-4004
YEAH... besides the sick things that go on the world...
****MEGAN FEEL BETTER- if you need anything, don't hesitate to call!!!****
1.) gas prices are rediculous
2.) we finally got ross' car outta the impound... it only cost us $165 :::grumble grumble::: shithead cops::: grumble:::
3.) I applied at Sweet surrender, Heine Bros. Coffee, Ramseys, and the Bristol... :::sigh::: I need a job...
4.) My dad sent some extra cash, so I'm in between a new tattoo and my synth dreads I really want... ( Iso badly yearn for the synth dreads... but they're more expensive than the tattoo... maybe I'll get some $$$ for my b-day...)
5.) I got plantains from the guy who owns ramseys. :) YEAY!
6.) I bummed a cigarette to Marissa's stepdad... i dunno... it just feels wrong for some reason... he's really nice though...
7.) My birthday is On June 9th... Any ideas on what we should do?
8.)Harry potter is coming out the 4th... any takers... (i know i'm a dork) (don't leave a comment if it's about that...)
9.) Box got fired from his weekday job, but still has the weekend one... (that means I have to see him during the day... grrrr... someone call me!!!)
10.) I'm lonely... we should all hang out soon...
11.) Hartman, I heard you got a puppy, you should bring it over to meet cornelious... it might get him to come out of his shell a little... (I heard he's a bit timid)
Well... that's about it...
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/juicy/cutealiens/happy_a.gif) content
Current Music: What's on my computer...
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May 1st, 2004
03:07 am - Just seeing how many times I can type fuck in a paragraph in under five minutes.
Fuck derby. I hate it. I wish it would get fucked in it's fucking annoying ear. Derby and it's stupid drunk driving motherfucks who make me so enraged I want to mow them all down with machine guns. Some girl almost ramed our car. Ross pulled forward just in time. I almost got out and pulled the fucking stupid cunt out and strangled her to death. I hate the stupid fucking hats I hate how a fucking horse race is treated like the mesiah has fucking come to louisville to vacation for the weekend. I hate fuckind stupid little fucking 13 year old fucking girls with no tits and no fucking life walking down bardstown road, looking like little fucking skanks... I hate it all. I want them all to fucking burn.
I love Ross, Megan, Jordan, Mykul, Hartman, Shalan, Timmy, Aaron and the rest of the gang :)
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/juicy/cutealiens/angry_a.gif) enraged
Current Music: My blood thumping through my veins
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April 22nd, 2004
10:35 pm - wow
okay, rick, my wonderfully nice photographer has all these uber fashion goth friends. They have these goth meetup thingies every other week. Rick wanted me to go. So I did. As a favour to him, I mean he shoots all my sets for free and he's just a genuinely nice guy. Sara, his photography assistant was there. I love her to death. We just had too much fun goofing off with her new boyfriend in the corner. I felt a little awkward... I'm not goth... I like coloures way too much, lol. Nothing against all of them, it's just not my scene... I did meet a bunch of BME zine kids and got invited to this big invite only bmezine get together that's coming up... camping and suspensions on some kid's 100 acre farm. That was cool. But the most hilarios part of the whole night was when this kid cam up and sat next to me...
kid: Hi, my name is Walter. You're really pretty.
me: um thanks.
walter: so what's you're name?
me: Lavinia
Walter: So tell me about yourself.
me: I just found out I'm pregnant with triplets.
Walter: oh, um, wow. Congratualtions. Are you married?
me: yeah, but my honey's in prison for 13 to 30. I went to visit him yesterday.
Walter: that sucks, I'm sorry.
me: oh, it's okay, they let us have conjugal visits.
Walter: Why is he in prison?
me: we were at a bar and my ex came in and asked if he could buy me a drink. So my hubby broke a bottle and stabbed him 47 times.
Walter: oh, um wow... Oh, there's my friends, I'm gonna go say hi to them.
(Walter runs off and doesn't look back once, hehehehehe)
Sara and I were laughing so hard I thought I was going to puke. It was so damn funny. We went to the bathroom and laughed for 20 minutes. It hurt.
I'm bringing my friends next time, we should all wear as many coloures as possible.
OH... SUPRISE PARTY HERE, SATURDAY NIGHT, I'M GETTING ROSS OUT OF THE HOUSE UNTIL 9:00 pm. PLEASE COME YOU GUYS. IF YOU WANT TO BRING THINGS, FOOD/DRINK IT WOULD BE APPRECIATED. I MADE A GIANT RICE CRISPY COOKIE. PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT IF YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE IT.
Current Mood: giggly
Current Music: the 5678's
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